23 September 2010

I've got hope, now where's the change?

When will we grasp a reality,
that isn't made by the T.V.? 
Embrace the dramatic art,
which allows us to find a
part of ourselves vicariously?
Paperboy's selling the "news"
but it's all become fiction.
Not events, just a prediction.

While the markets frozen,
let us bow to the chosen,
The ones that will liberate us,
silence us, save us from ourselves.
Oh, tell me how to think Mr. teacher.
Oh, show me how to live Mr. preacher.

I've got my own dreams,
the youth's got our ideals,
but it's not ruled by the people,
only the "qualified" fields.
Putting tax dollars into crowd control,
more badges for the job increase,
give them all guns to protect the peace.

So draw us a map to progess,
with a promise we won't digress,
while we're taking food from mother,
to print school books for our brother.
Our elders are a knowledge to the past,
But fuck it, degrees are meant to last.
While we're all buying into debt,
i've got the hope, now where's my change?

Yesterday, the nobel peace prize,
for a speech, for a proposal of compromise!
There's something wrong with me, 
I can't believe this will end the cross fire,
pretty words just fail to inspire,
while I look into my best friends eyes,
before he's sent into the desert,
where everybody dies...

I've got my hope, now where's the change?!

Mr_Sin

02 September 2010

Caged

The pillow that stifles my soul stinks of love, and whispers that hiding my [he]art away is not a sacrifice, not really.

I can speak silently, perform to nobody, paint with invisible ink, and express myself to a blank page… all in the name of love.

I poured out the wine gone sour because I love you, and hate the idea of you sipping from a poisoned chalice, but you caught every drip and stared at me with pained eyes when your flesh melted away.

So the wine sits and sours every time something comes up, and the drains are off limits from now on. Removing the cork doesn’t empty the bottle, merely lets the fumes waft over us and turns the air as bitter as the brew.

I made no promise so there’s nothing to break, except a fragile glass with ‘trust’ tentatively written on the label next to a piece that many cherish but forget. I’ll dust around the plinth it sits on and try not to knock it, but I was always clumsy and the glass wobbles alarmingly whenever I get too close.

You never asked me to stop doing, only to stop speaking. My soul is still there but the cage has come down and the silence is terrifying.

Rachel Gleavy

01 September 2010

Note to whom ever, My last day alive.

You said I never had to feel alone.
I've heard more promising words.
But I believed you.
Yet I feel so alone.
I give it about 7 months.
You wouldn't even remember my name by then.
You'll never enter my room again.
Because it'll be closed off.
But you know inside.
Is where I lay.
Dead.
You know inside my room is where I took my last beath.
You said I'd always have a reason to stay alive.
You said you'd never leave me without no reason.
Then one day, your no where to be found.
Tell my family this is not their fault.
This is but mine.
Note to whomever.
This is my last day.
Alive.
Note this.
Trust no one but yourself.
Things change.
People change.
People lie.
The world still turns.
Only now.
I'll be six feet under.
You drove me to death. 

Written by Nik-Forever

liberty or death

I spit senseless shit..........
jumbled words to disturb,,,, the morals within,
your proper up bringing, fuck ya I was raised in a barn,
And my pops is a piece of shit, was love to much to ask?
he could of at least hung around and beat my fuckin ass,
disfunctional would had been better than nothing,
now my life lacks fatherly guidance, I latch on to role models,
its so goddamn disgusting, but I is who I is,
And the counselor says I have personality issues,
a fatal prognosis, how did it happen?
with this fat sack of cannabis I entertain smoking,
you must be fucking joking , with your positive influences,
and your uptown attitude, I dont mean to offend,
my words just get misconstrued ,
you dont desire to understand me, reality wont let you...
forgiveness is bullshit, just a way of saying you're a pussy....
to damn scared to do something about it,
pull the pistol and pop it.... consequences forsaken,
you wrong me I wrong you, revenge replaces forgiveness,
thats true about justice, fry him where he stands,
dont get me wrong I still love, just a little bit different
I love if it suits me, helps me in some small way
mutually benefical, maybe I'm shallow,
a shell of a man, I'm fine with that
no identity crisis, just acceptance here,
throw in the hand I was dealt, or double down,
screw it I'm all in, jaw dropped and long faced
addicted and dont know why, bullshit
I decided to get high, nobody forced my hand
crack was a decision and I am not sorry for your pain,
dont choose now to be the hero and save me from myself,
I'm drunk and i'm driving, swerving in all lanes,
I drive like I live, reckless and shit,
and the dopeman is my friend, he furnishes my escape
puts it on face, but my face value is void,
even as a baby, I was twisted when they made me
a faulty product destined for the system,
a third world mentality, destitute and despicable,
it fuckin amazing, and I live next door,
close to your love ones and future and fancy dreams,
I enjoy people like me who cause pain, destroy destiny,
give people a reason to give up, promotes prostitution,
not an office job but it works, blue collar if you will,
seedy hotels with nasty smells, the scent of failure,
scars like lines on a mirror, and anger like fury,
give me liberty or give you death

Written by drugfree1977

19 August 2010

Untitled

Openin my eyes to the dark I must still be dreaming
Cause I hear this soft screaming
in the back of my head and my memory is vague
Last nights scene slowly come back to mind and
All I can remeber is Hi-Hat, a few drinks, loud music
preferably slow grinding
A jigsaw puzzle I'm trying to put together with missing pieces
First clue is a warm breath on the back of my neck I can't believe this.
As my eyes get use to the dark I realize this room is not mine
The sheets i lay on are moist and my boxer breifs i cant find
There is a trail of clothing leading from the foot of the door to the end of the bed a path of square toes, stilletoes, a button up, and some gouchoes
Flashbacks of freshly manicured hand carresing the back of my head
Thought of me holding her up against the wall feet around the waist trying not to slip.
Different scenes coming back to me to quick
Intoxicated from pleasure, intoxicated from memories or am I intoxicated from the drinking
Altogther a sudden movement take me from my thinking
She is now woke probraly wondering what she got her self into now
Both confused me scared to face the truth and turn around
She wondering who this niggas is, I am wondering what she look like
We both trying the find out what going to happen tonight
We both thinking I don't even know her(his) name.

King Young

16 August 2010

Navigating the Woodland Of Life

Life has been no easy forest for me to navigate --       
Not always with a predetermined path to follow,
But abounding with rocks and roots to trip over
While stumbling along in a period of darkness.
Never knowing whether to take the left or the right fork,
Ever maneuvering the endless labyrinth
Of trees with dancing boughs and gnarled bark.
Always following the gently trickling blue snake,
Hamamelis Mollis (Witch Hazel) Photographic Poster Print by Mark Bolton, 42x56Which is really a minute stream
But never too closely
For fear of falling in.
Constantly checking in all directions
For vicious, rampaging, wild beasts
That may be roaming the wood.
Never willing to stop, pause, or turn around,
Though sometimes I wish I could,
Being prevented only by the fact that
Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to find my way back.
Ever keeping my faith in the reward on the other side,
I continue to traverse through the seasonally changing woodland of life.

Mark Hazel

10 August 2010

Mis-appreciation Of African Literature (101)

Students are advised that this course carries no credits. This course is designed only for the Appreciation of African Literature.
By David Kaiza“


The force of the poetry that was beginning to come out of those young people became one huge challenge to many of us. It wasn’t because we hated other people’s poetry but because we were frightened of our emotions.” -David Rubadiri, Malawian Poet. Makerere University , May 2009.

African Literature: An Anthology of Criticism and TheoryDavid Rubadiri was speaking to an audience at Makerere University in May 2009 at a memorial lecture to editor David Cook when he said this, in front of an audience of students whose parents would have been children when in 1962, African writers descended on the university:

Octogenarian and walking with a noticeable shuffle, Rubadiri still had in him, the ability to whip up the aura of the 1960s when African literature was still received with extremes of emotion; 47 years ago, Chinua Achebe, Wole Soyinka, Okot P’Bitek, Ngugi wa Thiong’o and others who attended that conference were well-known already or would soon be.

Brought up on a forced diet of Shakespeare and Dickens, they plotted to throw the ‘English Department’ out of universities in Africa and replace it with African literature; a challenge to the “fatalistic logic of the unassailable position of English in our literature”. In 1962, the mass of what we now call African literature had not been written yet. So, June 1962 on Makerere Hill was also a mission statement. The next two decades would see a great number of novels, poems, essays and plays written.

Lewis Nkosi reporting in The Guardian on the conference pointed out that “those writers talked endlessly about the problems of creation … as though they were amazed that fate had entrusted them with the task of interpreting a continent to the world.”

Myth, Literature and the African World (Canto)This statement by Nkosi would not have been the only sentiment at that conference, but the essence of it was picked up and passed over to become the standard reaction – and even expectation – when reading African literature, implicitly stating that African literature was written for a non-African audience. Presumably, a piece of work that “interprets” carries the sterile tones of a tour guide rather than the rounded texture of the architect.

The defining character of African literature, one from which problems of reading it emerge, is that a handful of writers and editors wilfully created a body of work that had not existed before. Compression and extensions of pasts and histories was inevitable, assumptions that would only become apparent with time went to press. In time, Song of Lawino, The Trials of Brother Jero and The Beautiful Ones Are Not Yet Born appeared; the writing was done and the reading started in earnest.

Immediately, reviewers were at loss for appropriate expressions that would best describe the appearance of characters like Abd’ji’bidji and Lawino who in comparison to Heathcliff or Emma Bovary, seemed to orbit in a universe in which pumpkin roots, yams and Ogun had replaced cheese, daffodils and Yorkshire moors as narrative paraphernalia.

The theoretic reader’s bone of contention is that African literature was largely made to a cultural-nationalist order, however unconsciously (which can be said of any work); to use imagery of the 60s, the African Writers Series (AWS) was a cultural Apollo Project, a literary 5-year Plan.

A lot seemed to be at stake in the 1960s; the Cold War, threat of a nuclear holocaust, student protests and the Vietnam War, defining a high époque’s loss of certainty in the face of destabilising transitions. To accuse African writers of over-determining their terms, in the manner in which Kwame Anthony Appiah did in his book, In My Father’s House, may not be inaccurate but it misses the point that the ‘60s were years of over-determinism.

At the beginning of the 70s, the well-regarded African literary critic, Adrian Roscoe (Mother is Gold), in what appears a casual reference, wrote of John Pepper Clarke’s, Second Round: "The pull of the British tradition remains strong, for Clarke here is obviously feeling the influence of Hopkins, a poet whose deliberately rude handling of language for special effects might be expected to appeal to a young free spirit like Clarke!"

There would be more. Part of the praises heaped on Song of Lawino was that it sounded like Hiawatha. For Western readers, their heritage was the accepted canon and everything else could only be seen in comparison.

Tasters with less flamboyance, and perhaps weary of cross-cultural conflation, found the gravy, “remarkable”, “intelligent”; the presentation “portrayed” the “beauty of African traditions” with “humour”, “originality” and “power”; others found the gruel “thin”, lacking in “universal” salt. These first line readings licked the edges of the bowl, tentative, weary of plunging headlong into the steaming soup, occasionally snatching up bits of “culture clash”, and morsels of “tradition versus progress”.

Irate response erupted. Soyinka summed up as a “facile tag”, the convenient black/white, north/south, body/mind, and Africa/Europe, juxtaposition.

This patronizing tone from Western readers drove Ayi Kwei Armah to make an enduring riposte to Charles Larson (Under African Skies) and give name to de-contextualised readings. Larson remarked of Armah, saying that in The Beautiful Ones are Not Yet Born the latter had, “gone to great pains to make it clear that he is writing literature first, and that the Africanness of his writing is something of less great importance.”

Armah, fuming from this reductionist tone, termed as “Larsony” what he saw as an externalising reading "which consists of the judicious distortion of African truths to fit Western prejudices”. Perhaps worse, Larson had, again like Roscoe, compared The Beautiful Ones Are Not Yet Born to Ralph Ellison’s The Invisible Man.

A high point was reached with the controversy over Wole Soyinka’s Death and the King’s Horseman, a development which focused serious reading beyond plot and story. The play’s weighty suggestions provoked significant comment. Soyinka’s stated aim was what he called a metaphysical study of death, ritual and transition. For many (who cannot be shielded by the trite defence that they don’t know Africa ), Soyinka’s description was curious, given that the antagonism between Pilkin – the colonial administrator, and Elesin – the tragic Oba (leading characters in the play) clearly spelt culture-clash.

The prime problem, which continues to our age, was that the continent lacked, or did not chrystalise, the lofty macro-narratives by which the West categorised its traditions. Hence, Marxist readers could recklessly say Soyinka neglected to take into account the impact of petty commodity trading, class structure and power politics.

Who said you must write to ideological order, and was not Marxism a product of specific, Western experience?

Pushed into a corner, and asked to contextualise themselves within already existing grand narratives, African writers – sadly - came with such constructions as “Cosmology”, “Unanimism” as armour against the Roscoes of the time.

The charge was that rather than presenting Africa as it was, African writers were inventing a past to equal the material stature of another’s heritage; assuming that race was a fact and that with so many “tribes” and languages, the idea of Africa was false.

It could be however argued that the spirited response from Soyinka and Armah held Western readers in check. With the closing of the 70s cursory readings gave way to the multi-disciplinary facet of theory.

But Africa was not solely the pre-occupation of the literary world. Historians, linguists and anthropologists from the continent like Valentin Yves Mudimbe, Cheik Anta Diop and Armah himself, who had started digging as far back as Egypt, further complicated the milieu. Given the climate of the time, the reading of African literature too went extra-literary, into the risk-fraught grounds of Theory.

The problem of its birth meant that inevitably, African literature would be asked teething questions. AWS had created a body of works lacking textual parentage. That it was written in refutation, that this refutation was a militant counterpoint to Europe , made it a foregone conclusion that the tag, “Afrocentrism” would be slapped on it.

Stephen Howe’s book, Afrocentrism: Mythical Pasts and Imagined Homes, which came out much later, was the kind of ground on which not only the works of Diop and Armah were doubted, but also the intellectual context in which men like Appiah had questioned African creative works of literature.

For defenders of the idea of Africa , philosophical and technical questions stunk of neo-colonialism: Could these deniers not see that the immensity of suffering of the black peoples necessitated a massive counter-offensive? Could they not see that these theoretic affronts were rearming the neo-imperialists who walked boldly back into places like Congo ?

A History of Twentieth-Century African LiteraturesThe complexity arises from the fact that this self-fortification of the African spirit was made at the tail-end of a tragic, intellectual refraction that begun in Europe a few hundred years before. In claiming ownership of truth and science, renaissance Europe appropriated all the good that all other societies do as their preserve, the very reason for their existing. In equal measure, it regurgitated the messy waste it did not need, and heaped it upon all the other societies it dominated; to work, imperialism dubiously over-emphasized black/white demarcations.

It was as if two plus two equalled three in the tropics. With equal imbecility, Negritude claimed for Africa, patent rights over the innate and the inscrutable, oblivious of the same being mass-produced in Hitler’s Europe .

In many ways, Negritude thrives in circles that spell Africa with a K; Negritude’s two plus two may equal four, but the four is dressed up in a grass skirt for authenticity. It was within this chimera of cultural confusion that the misdirected readings emanated.

The uncertainty over reading African writing properly came from an old idea that the straight, the symmetrical and the structured could only be European; that what is authentically African could only be the malformed, primordial, and lacked surface finesse. It was as if Africans never puzzled over psychology, as if the knowledge of smelting and tooling metal, lost wax casting and making dies – which reached high levels of refinement in pre-colonial Africa had been the product of witchcraft rather than of science.

Armah’s characters failed to agree to an easy patenting along Negritudinist lines, and could hence be labelled as “European” by Larson. An immense silliness seemed to have gripped everyone.

There was and is no special key into reading African writing – no African solution to this Africanised problem. All Art, whether made in the Tundra or the Savannah , comes from the same place and hence, to think that different standards ought to be erected to study works from different geographical settings is a disservice to art.The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest

It is only from this deformity that any narrative of a pre-colonial Africa in which the rational and explicable happened could be perceived as “inventing” an African past.

AWS’s heroic act of “creating” a grand project was dismissed as mere invention; the “invented” seen as a dubious, back-handed creation of heroic pasts big enough to respond adequately to Conrad, Carey and other colonial anthropologies.

It is not too hard to know why hardly any of these readings grappled with these works as pure works of art, to give them a good shaking to see whether they were good or bad art, to find out if as novels, they created narratives that captured the essence of existence properly.

There are readers who still think that Africans experience existence in alien ways; theorists like Appiah consider good or bad art as categories for the lowly craft of criticism; defenders of African essence were interested in these books only for the sake of history. Nearly all were interested in the anthropological possibilities they offered.

One can jump up with an easy defence of African literature and say that all literary traditions invent pasts, that the renaissance in Europe was appropriation of a classicalism borrowed from the Greeks who borrowed it from ancient Egypt . One can say this to brutally undercut European claims to primacy in the same way Howe made claims of the new African literary project.Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Free 3G + Wi-Fi, 6" Display, Graphite, 3G Works Globally - Latest Generation

It would be easy to say that all books are written with conscious intent, rather than absent-mindedly – in the same way it was once said of the acquisition of the British Empire , a thin attempt to escape historical responsibility for its crimes. To the extent that Beowulf is literature, that War and Peace does not oversell the Russian spirit, Howe’s thesis that African writers and scholars were constructing ‘mythical pasts and imagined homes’ can pass as legitimate.

But the fights over reading African literature ought to concern us in Africa only as a curiosity. We have, for good and for worse, inherited a body of work already. But it is not our place to doubt what is ours.

We who would continue creating art and literature on the continent ought to concern ourselves with technical questions to start the kind of reading which should have been done years ago; to say if a book is written well or badly, to compare what we experience inside the pages and compare them to what we experience outside of them. Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Free 3G + Wi-Fi, 6" Display, Graphite, 3G Works Globally - Latest Generation

09 August 2010

That chokora you left. Remember?

Its as if I have no real control over myself. I feel primal and savage with every waking moment. An animal is what I am. The urges are incredible. The adrenaline is overwhelming. I feel insane. Giving in to all of this seems to be the inevitable path. My hair is long and unruly, like a desperate beast. My face is un kept and un-shaven clearly showing I have no interest in appearances. Dark circles have formed under my eyes, evidence to my lack of sleep. My lips are chapped to the point of blood and the gaunt form of my body magnifies its already unsightly effects. The left ear that has recently been pierced, is oozing with what seems to be a delicate mixture of blood and puss. What could be called my beard is more of a disgusting nest of brown and grey hairs.
Why am I doing this?
Sympathy maybe. Maybe I am trying to show myself how much of a wreak I am, so that I can effectively change myself. Maybe I am doing it because I like this monster I have become. You know I have been described as a psychotic lunatic.
My chest is shallow yet defined. What muscle I have is clearly showing itself. As if desperately trying to display the strength that it desires. My arms weed out of my torso like angry little branches. Though there is very little muscle visible in these branches, they pulse and resonate what strength they have. They are truly hatful little creatures that mock me at every turn. The coarse little hairs that cover my torso imply a slightly masculine nature, they hint at my desires to be a strong man. My back being, the muscle that has kept me up for so long is now bent and broken. An overused reliance, a tired old dog. It is bent and broken, yet refuses to let me down, sacrificing more than it can give at most times.
Maybe I am doing this for comfort, or to impress those around me. I don’t think that’s it. I think I want to write. I want to overcome everything, to defeat all of my problems and doubts. I want nothing more that to be happy. I think that’s why I am doing this. I must win this fight. I must beat everyone, and overcome myself. This anger, this animal must be overcome.
My cold red eyes, are clearly active despite my tired persona. They flare with anger, passion and desire. I want to take. I want what I deserve. No one can stand in my way. The flare of my life is in these eyes. I am what I make myself. I long to be a virtuous soul, not a vengeful hate fueled animal. I must work myself out of the frenzy of my life.
My legs are clearly defined muscles, the one piece of me that I can still rely on. They will take me places I do not desire to be and will inspire my body to move. They will carry me forward. The muscles that hang from there bones is strong yet tangible, it is a practical strength that only the wanderer can acquire.
As a whole I am a creature, little less than a beast. I look to the future to change this, but for the time I am the savage. I will indulge in this until I can take it no more. I am wild, an untamable monster. With only a shell of virtue guiding it along. I will break. Whether this will end well or not I can’t yet tell. I only know for certain that I am a train wreak, a unpleasant skeleton of who I used to be. A rage filled Zombie. A walking Hate Machine. An animal. You saw me in the bins; am that chokora.

A Letter To The Law - Common


Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Free 3G + Wi-Fi, 6" Display, Graphite, 3G Works Globally - Latest Generation

So, what is the point of living anyway?

Once upon a time in Hollywood, smoking was considered the height of sophistication. Glamorous girls puffed daintily on Virginia Slims, while tough dudes smoked Sportsman.
In fact in the ‘80s, the most popular advert both on TV and the Kenya Newsreel in the film theatres was the one of a couple in a red Mustang who sped out to some picturesque countryside and played chess, then as the sun set over the savannah, they smoothly lit their Embassy Kings.
In 2010, it is impossible to find such an advertisement in Kenya.Health warnings
‘Cigarettes are harmful to your health’ campaigns became ‘Smoking kills’, complete with warnings on the packets. And I feel sure we’re moving in the direction of the USA where the warnings on cigarette packets are so many (‘Smoking this pack will distort your Mitochondria and you’ll give birth to a two-headed Mongoloid with five arms’) it is hard to tell what brand it is.
‘Two and-a-half million people die from smoking every year globally’ is the official figure. But did you know smoking is also associated with chronic low back pain among younger adults? I didn’t, until last week, when I read an article by Dr Shiri of the Finnish Institute of Occupational Health.
The Seven Pillars of HealthDrinking beer — and eating roast goat — causes gout, and liquor finishes your liver and kills you. So does sex, one of the most pleasurable past-times known to man, bird, animal and beast. You cannot even take comfort in gastronomic delights. Chips and chocolates will literally ‘fatten you for the kill’ through obesity and then heart attack. Red meat is also supposedly bad for your health, so you need to eat like an herbivore.
Coffee has caffeine, so it is supposedly just like a liquid cigarette, and tea has something or the other that messes up your dopamine levels. And if you thought you could take refuge in water, drink too much and you get hyper-gly-something, but too little means you’re dehydrated.
Gloom and doom
White bread lowers your immunity levels while eggs over-protein-ise the system and makes you vulnerable to a number of maladies. If you don’t exercise, you will die, but if one over-exercises, one could collapse like a cardiac house of cards.
Even the additives that add ‘spice to life’ are bad for your health. Sugar leads to diabetes, salt makes one prone to strokes, and so on and so forth.
In New York restaurants, the city health authorities are now asking that the number of calories in each sugar packet be printed on them. As for ‘fat-free’ products, this is all the fad, and the fuss has spread all the way to Kenya where everything is ‘herbal’.
Now our own authorities have joined the "Kenyan Kill Joy Boys’ Choir,’ (KKJBC) and decided that too much noise is harmful to our health. Excited young Kenyans now cannot ride in matatus and listen to the ‘boom-twaff’ that is the joy of youth. The matatu touts cannot shout, so how does one know where their vehicles are headed? We can’t read, you know!
Last straw
Health: The Basics (8th Edition)But what finally broke this camel’s was a recent news item from some US journal which informed us that "every hour spent sitting in front of the TV raises a person’s risk of death from cardiovascular disease by 18 per cent, and the risk of cancer by nine per cent."
The long and short of it? To live long, one cannot drink, smoke, have sex, eat chips, chocolates, nyama choma, drink too much or too little water, let alone tea or coffee, eat white bread or eggs, exercise or not at all, listen to music, watch TV, etc, etc!
What is the point of living?
As a colleague glumly concludes, "Waking up in 2010 could be harmful to your health." And by the very act of being born, don’t babies already sign up to something that says, "Living will be hazardous to your health" and at some point, will certainly end in death?

By Tony Mochama

Bitter Sweet


see what i want so much
should never hurt this bad
never did this before
that's what the virgin says
we been generally warned
that's what the surgen says
god talk to me now
this is an emergency 
Gold Digger [Explicit]Stronger [Explicit]808s & HeartbreakPower [Explicit]
and she claim she only with me for the currency
you cut me deep bitch
cut me like surgery
and i was too proud to admit
that it was hurting me
id never do that to you
at least purposely
we breaking up again
we making up again
but we dont love no more
i guess wee fucking then
have you ever wanted to kill her
and you mixed them emotions with tequila
and you mixed that with a little bad advice
on one of them bad nights
yall have a bad fight
and you talking bout her family
her aunts and shit
and she say motherfucker your mommas a bitch
you know
domestic drama and shit
all the attitude
i'd never hit a girl but i'd shake the shit out of you
but imma be the bigger man
big pimpin like jigga man
oh i guess i figga it's
bitter sweet
your going to be the death of me

andmy niggas said i shouldntlet it worry me
and this relationship it even got me back to drinkin
and this hennessey is going to be the death of me
and you and cracked up to what you were supposed to be
you always gone you always be where those hoes will be
cause everytime i tried you would question me  

Kanye  West

What are you fighting for

The Young Peacemaker (Book Set)

29 April 2010

Nothing compared to you.


Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem My torn and draped clothing,
That clings to me effortlessly
and hides the bruises lurking beneath
because of the fear of being seen,
Is nothing compared
to the disguise that I've been forcing

My mendacious smile

That's affixed itself to my face
and flashes at everything to cover up the truth,
because I can't manage a real smile,
Is nothing compared
to the happiness that I've been faking.

My absence from normality

That's increasing dramatically
and causing obtrusive awareness and concern,
Is nothing compared to the absence in my heart
That's gaping widely from the shattered pieces
that have gone astray.

My choking eyes

that are wallowing in the puddles
of my wretched heartache
are nothing compared to the times
that they've drowned in the rivers
of life's inflicted storm.

So stop putting on that constant act of concern,

because behind that mask
that you are hiding behind,
I can see that you honestly don't care for me at all.
And no act of your false salvation,
is ever going to save me from your pain.

Written by inky babyx (riyah_darling)

Strange Conformity

Observe the streets with a scarce amount of effort,
then summarize in your mind what you see.
That kid all alone,dressed in black on the corner
Is an Emo 100 % guaranteed.
 
Observe the darkened path with your weary eyes,
and frown at that girl ,ever so skinny and frail.
Then quickly make a choice out of anorexic or bulimic,
assume quickly only with with little detail.
 
Question those pretty girls smiling politely,
smile back, but be careful not to adore.
Because after all, it is classed as a sin,
to be playing cat and mouse with a whore.
 
Look down on that boy with his journal,
be sure to judge him without any delay.
Just look at his glasses and his shimmering smile,
its by far obvious, that he is gay.
 
So abuse and criticize our small society
because you know it's not acceptable to be defined.
Just tear apart our feelings, and inflict your dreaded words
because it won't be long till we all commit suicide

Written by inky babyx (riyah_darling)

Depressing Life Of A Sick And Twisted Man

Selfish, relentless, insensitive Call me whatever you want But y’all are gonna be the ones that will be creeped When I come back to eternally haunt I don’t give a fuck so just get the fuck over it You better duck ‘cause I’m about to go supernova shit! Testing testing uh oh there seems to be a tiny glitch He’s bottling up all the insults and he’s getting extremely pissed Wow it’s incredible how he just sits there taking it He acts like it doesn’t bother him but I bet ya he’s faking it It’s like a man picking up a puppy and fucking raping it Nightmare after nightmare a puddle of his own sweat he lies awake in it Man I feel really bad for that kid it would really suck to be him To have to put up with all the bullshit and to be in the position that he’s in Man if I were him I’d just kill myself Or as 50 Cent once said die trying to gain wealth Whether that’s true or not I do not know But I believe in this kid and I want to see him grow You know what they say good things come to those who wait But is that really true or is it all just fate?

Written by GlennMcCrary

Let Me Be

I take this knife
Into my hand
was a happy life
too much to demand?
It will be alright
This is gonna be
My very last night
I think if you were here
What I would say
Because there is no more tommorow
And there is no more today
My hand slides down
The knife goes through
Just think, this is
All because of you
I'm rolling around
On the floor
Trying to get up
To lock the door
I hear your voice
As death draws near
I see your face
I have no fear
Even in death
It's you I still can see
Why couldn't you
Just let me be?

Written by Mr_Sin

A Teenage Boy Unleashing His Vengeance

Every day when I wake up I feel shit This feeling gets under my skin and I’m so sick of it It seems that every time I play the nice guy It always backfires on me Most of the time it’s the people Who are full of sin and greed Picture a fishing rod with me as the bait Having fish snacking on me because they haven’t ate It feels like things can’t get any worse at this rate Hell I barely make time to stop and conversate Because I hate everybody and I don’t give a fuck These people are so careless and they fucking suck I’m tired of being mistreated every time I turn around I’ve searched for happiness but sadness was all that I found Believe me if I could I would trade everything to be happy again But no matter how hard I try I just can’t win And it hurts me to know that that’s really who I am Always being treated like a kid but yet I’m a grown man My life is something that people will never understand I wish that I could just hold the world in the palm of my hand And crush it to tiny pieces from right where I stand As I slowly watch the remains slip out of my hand And onto the ground like grains of sand Man wouldn’t that be grand? Then I wouldn’t have to take shit from no one For they are the reasons why I am sitting here writing this poem If y’all don’t like it y’all can kiss my ass I wasn’t put on this earth to impress you fags Why don’t you go get happy and buy a bunch of Glad bags And for those of you that have dusty ass waves buy yourselves a du rag I don’t care if you get mad regarding this attack Just letting you know how it feels to be stabbed in the back You know what fuck all of you suck my motherfucking nut sack
Written by GlennMcCrary

Where Are You Daddy?

You once told me when i was very young that you would be there for me.
That "Even though mommy and daddy are fighting daddy will always be there for you."
A meer eleven years later and you are no where to be seen.
When I cry at night and just need a hug
it is mom's arms that hug me and not your own.
I think to myself why is it that after you promissed
me you would alwyas be there are you not here for me.
Have i displeased you so much that you can
not even stand to talk to me on the phone?
What crime have i commited to deserve being excommunitcated from your family, or is it that your words were but a false hope?
Did the carry any weight or were they simply
empty words meant to ease your escape?
Written by lonelymaiden

28 April 2010

"Nas Is Like"

Freedom or jail, clips inserted, a baby's bein born
Same time my man is murdered, the beginning and end
As far as rap go, it's only natural, I explain
My plateau, and also, what defines my name
First it was Nasty, but times have changed
Ask me now, I'm the artist, but hardcore, my science for pain
I spent time in the game, kept my mind on fame
Saw fiends shoot up, and do lines of cocaine
Saw my close friends shot, flatline am I sane?
That depends, carry Mac-10's to practice my aim
On rooftops, tape cd covers to trees
Line the barrel up with your weak picture then squeeze
Street scriptures for lost souls, in the crossroads
To the corner thugs hustlin for cars that cost dough
To the big dogs livin large, takin it light
Pushin big toys, gettin nice, enjoyin your life
is what you make it, suicide, few try to take it
Belt tied around they neck in jail cells naked
Heaven and hell, rap legend, presence is felt
And of course N - A - S are the letters that spell . . .
NAS, NAS

"Nas is like life or death.. I'm a rebel.. "
"My poetry's deep, I never fell.."
"Nas is like.. half man half amazing.."
"No doubt.."

"Nas is like.." Earth Wind & Fire, rims and tires
Bulletproof glass, inside is the realest driver
Planets in orbit, line em up with the stars
Tarot cards, you can see the pharaoh Nas
"Nas is like.." Iron Mike, messiah type
Before the Christ, after the death
The last one left, let my cash invest in stock
Came a along way from blastin, techs on blocks
Went from Seiko to Rolex, ownin acres
From the projects with no chips, to large cake dough
Dimes, givin fellatio, siete zeros
Bet my nine spit for the pesos
But what's it all worth, can't take it when you under this Earth
Rich men died and tried, but none of it worked
They just rob your grave, I'd rather be alive and paid
Before my number's called, history's made
Some'll fall, but I rise, thug or die
Makin choices, that determine my future under the sky
To rob steal or kill, I'm wondering why
It's a dirty game, is any man worthy of fame?
Much to success to ya, even if you wish me the opposite
Sooner or later we'll all see who the prophet is

"Nas is like.." Sex to a nympho, but nothin sweet
I'm like beef, bustin heat through your windows
I'm like a street sweeper, greenleaf reaper
Like Greeks in Egypt, learnin somethin deep from they teachers
I'm like crime, like your nine, your man you would die for
Always got you, I'm like Pop Duke you would cry for
I'm like a whole lot of loot, I'm like crisp money
Corporate accounts from a rich company
I'm like ecstasy for ladies, I'm like all races
combined in one man; like the '99 summer jam
Bulletproof Hummer man
I'm like being locked down around new faces, and none of em fam'
I'm the feelin of a millionaire spendin a hundred grand
I'm a poor man's dream, a thug poet
Live it, and I write down and I watch it blow up
Y'all know what I'm like, y'all play it your system every night
Now..

By Nas

25 February 2010

How Come

HOW COME I’M STILL SINGLE!!!
Well maybe its not you its them
maybe their scared
maybe their intimidated maybe their gunshot
maybe I’m tired of them bullshit crutches
weak ass excuses but to scared to grab a gun and fire
HOW COME?
I can cook my ass off talk cars, sports, politics, wax it with passion yo and still single
not perfect
not to good to be true
but I work my ass off do my best to be the shit for my nigga
Will cook catfish ass naked in high heels
suck and fuck like a champ
give them fever
HOW COME?
“Oh well baby you to good for me”
“Uh baby I don’t deserve you”
Don’t settle for that come up
step up
HOW COME?
You response with
“You tryna change me”
HOW COME?
You weren’t ready and wanted to “just be friends”
When I perfectly rolled the tree on the first try cause I heard you say that’s the sexiest thing a sister could do for her man
HOW COME?
You don’t realize and don’t remember that the king is suppose to be with the queen not the court jester
HOW COME?
I heard that after 9/11 folks got more committed to life, love, spirit, family
are we saying that tragedy and fear should jump start the heart
we mustn’t forget these classic crutches
excuses
“Uh, I had a fucked up childhood” (who hasn’t)
“Uh, well I’ve been hurt real bad” (who hasn’t)
“Oh, well baby you know what baby you see the time is not right see I wanna be in a certain place financially, emotionally, spiritually”
“Yeah well baby most people are divorced and if they are together they ain’t happy”
So?
And?
Have we forgotten yall that once upon a time high school sweethearts who met in third grade actually got married and they built a life
and shared a life
and set and made goals
and loved with souls
Is that a fairytale lived of long ago
I don’t know
How far away from that do we go to get back to that
cause you know
history does repeat itself
HOW COME?
We can’t meet each other in the middle
without fears and our hangups and our issues
HOW COME?
We can’t meet each other in the middle and live and love and live and love and live and love
HOW COME?
Kim Fields

EMPLOYEED POOR


Living in this city aint no joke!
I'm working 40 hours a week just to stay broke.
Property is still the great divider cause landowners still got all the power.
What's the difference between me and an indentured servant
when 50 percent of my pay check goes just to pay rent?
I've got collectors siphoning me off just a little at a time
these monthly bleedings got me losing my mind!
I'm talking GAS, Electric, phone-I aint even got CABEL!-
If luxury is the Garden of Eden then call me Cain and Abel
cause I am fighting with myself. Struggling to retain my drive
cause ya have to keep on hustlin if ya want to stay alive. 
See, I gambled on education but all I got is loans,
I went for the chicken but instead I got the bones. 
I'm living in a Lilliputian apartment and I'm feeling like Gulliver. 
I've got a bedroom/dining/living-room/other. 
I've got a loft bed where I sleep high in the sky. 
I climb the ladder each night reaching for my piece of the pie. 
I rise before sunshine alone and in pain. Shower unconscious,
dreams dribble down the drain,
always running late, the train doors wake me with a jerk,
riding the middle passage each morn from home to work.
I'm getting sick of this Sisyphean struggle,
but all the alternatives only spell trouble. 
What am I supposed to do, quit my job?  become a bum?
I've done that- not being able to afford food is NOT FUN. 
I'm on the treadmill heading to wealth and
I'm about to drop dead doing this shit for my health.
Claudia Alick


What are you fighting for? -Gemini



15 February 2010

I Try












Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But wer,e not
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Here is my confession
May I be your possesion
Boy I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
I play it off but im dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near 
Macy Gray



UNITY POEM

When we ran away from the towering inferno
of terrorism, we became one human race!

When the planes hit and the imposing buildings
fell, we ran in one direction - towards safety!

When we prayed together and lit candles
we longed for hope and became one faith!

When millions observed silence, and thousands
protested against war, we spoke one language!

When we volunteered and collected blood,
all religions mingled in our arteries and veins!

When guns were consigned to fire and hands
were joined in unity, poverty ended, tears vanished!

When leaders united with the commoners and
sang together 'World is One', peace returned!

Dr Leo Rebollo